A bridge and the blues

The selection of names for our baby boys was a difficult task that I had been putting off. I did not want to deal with the pain of choosing a name for our baby we lost. This avoidance was actually silly because of course not choosing a name was not making anything easier. So sitting together in the hospital we started looking at Heathers list. After much deliberation and talk of what possible nicknames would be and meanings we decided on Paxton Bridge for our baby we lost. Heather chose Paxton because it means peace, and our little one with the Lord is in the only real peace there is. She also chose Bridge as his middle name. Bridge we pulled from the song "The Great Exchange" by Thrice. The song is a parable on Christ and his willing sacrifice for us so that we could cross over the endless sea of our sin and be with him in Heaven. We love knowing that Paxton is at peace with our Father in Heaven, and we ache to have him here with us at the same time.

We chose Indigo Range for our little man who is still with us. The word Indigo came up because it is also in the lyrics to "The Great Exchange". We both loved the sound of the name, and the nickname "Indy" for while he is little seems perfect for such a tiny man. Indigo is also a very deep blue color and it does not need to be said that the loss of another child has brought its own deep blues into our family once again. Not that we intended this sorrowful meaning in his name, in fact I only thought of it after the fact. But we do live in a family where Avery is keenly aware of the loss of her own brother Asher and speaks of him often. It is a reality for us that we must face death and loss, even at 8 and 10 years of age, the Lilleys children are learning about the blues. As we thought about a middle name for Indy we talked about words that meant valley, since we are passing through a valley in our lives right now but we know that God will bring us back out of it one day and into the high country again. We settled on Range because it encompasses a larger idea to us. To us the range is the valleys and the mountains all taken as one.  The idea that God leads us through our times in the valleys and our times on the peaks. That the whole time, through the deepest dark and the most blinding light He is with us, He walks beside us, He sheds tears with us, He rejoices with us. We wish desperately that we could see what Paxton would have been like, and we are so thankful to have been blessed with Indigo here with us. 

More to follow...

Take a few moments if you would and listen to the words of this song.

Thrice, The Great Exchange 

Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.